Good afternoon world I am making a call-out post on my Newgrounds.com to one Jared aka @Jarry135

He was very mean to me and made me play hard from hacks!!!

Also, he makes fun of me when I play Sonic the Hedgehog fan games because I'm not good at it but that's not gonna make me better at them like what that's so mean. Always saying I have a "skill issue" >:( He makes me watch SUSPICIOUS VIDEOS where the characters die too!!!

AND HE ALSO LIKES SUPER PAPER MARIO THAT'S ILLEGAL

He does not COOPERATE when we play COOPERATIVE GAMES! Always carrying me around in NSMBWii and throwing me into things

He has not figured out how to send his AC through the laptop when we are on discord chat so I can also feel the cool air. How selfish is that!

LOOK AT THIS FUCKING PICTURE

I PAID HIM FOR THIS

IT'S SO GOOD???

WHAT RIGHT DOES HE HAVE TO MAKE ART LIKE THIS SO GOOD FOR ME????

you should go pay him for art just to spite him.

Thanks for listening to my call out make sure you follow him and like his art, he'll be so overwhelmed by the attention hehe haha

As I mentioned before, it's possible for some things to change, and it has.

I made an account on Neocities. I have learned some HTML and CSS and put together a website. It was satisfying for me, putting together something like this has made me feel the most fulfilled I ever have in the 9 years I've been using the internet and I'm happy Neocities lets me do it for free.

It's nice just having this old-web-like thing of my own instead of being on a social site, not having to worry about fitting into a community, or all these empty numbers. They're still there of course, but not nearly as much in your face, or encouraging you to make interactions that ultimately end up meaningless. The loneliness of it actually feels good.

I would recommend checking it out if you're feeling stifled. And if you want to learn HTML and/or CSS try this website https://www.w3schools.com/html/default.asp it's very intuitive and easy to understand for beginners.

I don't, however, feel like giving out the link to my site willy-nilly. I might do it if asked.

I don't want to use any form of social internet media nearly as much as I used to. At this point doing so may as well be a form of self-harm. I'm keeping this account up because I need those sweet badges.

I don't intend on re-releasing any of my old art. I don't care enough to get whatever else is still around taken down. Nobody actually cares about them anyway and it's under an old name, so go crazy.

I don't want to publicly post single art pieces or literature online anymore. I doubt I ever will again but who knows how I'll feel in the next year, or 40.

I'm willing to post longer-form work on itch.io, which is here: https://picayune-farrago.itch.io/

I just put something new, but really, don't expect frequent updates there.

Please follow my friends instead: @oIors @Jarry135

I don't get any joy from this anymore, as I mentioned in my last news post.

I don't think I'll ever be able to quit drawing especially considering my desired field of work, but I don't feel like posting my hobby art in public anymore. I haven't even been drawing much recently.

Whenever I get the time, I'll delete my gallery again, for real this time, and then relearn not to care so much.

I left up the pieces I made for collaboration, and that's all.

I'm not sure what else to say, so, goodbye.

Seems weird after the shitshow that was last year

But i have very little energy and hope for my life at this point.

There are so few people in my life i can actually speak to about my mental and emotional issues without them saying some equivalent of "get over it" or "don't be ridiculous". I can't get consistent help, which is partially my fault because I can't seem to commit to this. Asking for help just makes me anxious because elaborating makes me uncomfortable now.

I don't enjoy anything as much as I used to. I don't even really like posting my art here anymore. I don't know why I still bother, it's not like I participate in this community much or at all. And it's not like anyone actually reads these either.

I feel a growing amount of disillusionment and estrangement from humanity and discomfort in being human myself. Instincts, civilization, mentality. It all feels complicated and sick to me. I suppose this might fall into the category of "misanthropy" but I don't feel like that group of people entirely describes me either.

There probably isn't. I think there's something very wrong with me or my personality. I don't think it's normal to be so vindictive about every thing other people do or think.

Next year I will graduate from college, barring that nothing goes wrong, which is unlikely at this point. I don't have a bedroom anymore. So I guess I'll have to figute out living on my own and getting a full time job as soon as possible. I certainly don't have enough to make a down payment on any house. So i don't have goid feelings about next year either.

Book V: https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLouXpPXP-jvYuVc-sCZaZarKsRxqoHlwu

It was probably my favorite book by far, but it still lacks, mainly due to the presentation of the story in this game... they don't focus enough on it. They briefly mention how the machines are systematically powered by magic, and I like that method, I think it matches this world quite well considering the wide usage of it in FE. Though I wish it was elaborated on more, again the presentation doesn't really make way for that... I wonder if there could be a FEH artbook someday.

Even still I think the world-building and history were stronger with this book than the last 2. Also looking back the foreshadowing is pretty clear. Otr being really quick to disown Reginn and Eitri being so devoted to the first king, those details stand out to me knowing how the rest of the story plays out.

Though I still don't know how I feel about the entire event being planned out by Eitri, I suppose she does win in the end since the royal bloodline does regain rule. But she was the expert on the magic used to power the machines, and it's not made clear how they would cover for that. The last 3 chapters did feel pretty rushed.

I think Reginn is a very pitiable character. Basically, she has to find out her whole life was a lie, one of her brothers never loved her and she was part of a scheme to fix a kingdom. Pretty much a trauma conga line. I also like how she doesn't immediately become queen because she isn't ready and has no experience. Also, the way her expressions are drawn feels very genuine.

Finally, this arc has left some somewhat disturbing implications about summoning and what it could do to someone's mind, acknowledging that you are basically pulling someone from their home. I presume Fafnir was a "failure" because it drove him insane not having his proper memories, unlike our summons which mostly leave the characters intact. Other than them following your every command mostly without question.

Ice and Flame (story link unavailable for now)

So, this started interesting, seeing the other "gods" that live in this realm and what they're like. And the final conflict was interesting... but they completely backed out of concluding it. Two characters who had reached an understanding despite having been on opposing sides of a war were forced to fight to the death by higher beings who just see them as pawns. An apparent prophecy detailing who would win. There are many ways you could take this... but they don't take it anywhere! It's not concluded at all!

I suppose I can hope that this will eventually have a real conclusion, but they said 5 was the final part, so I'm not gonna count on it for now.

Forging Bonds - Abyssal Light https://youtu.be/AmPdWppERLM

Dude what a random time to send out lore implications. Though I suppose the Ashen Wolves finding this out makes a bit of sense.

So it would seem that the kingdom of Askr is stuck in endless war. Makes sense, they do seem to get caught up in all these conflicts, and continue to summon more and more people to help. And the fact that Loki actually comes to prevent them from getting info means she's hiding something big.

I really want this to be elaborated on. PLEASE in the next book. They can't just drop something like this and then leave it be, right?

Besides that, it was nice to see some characters actively rebel from fighting, even if only for a little while. Again it makes me wonder how much autonomy they lose after being summoned.

https://journal.transformativeworks.org/index.php/twc/article/view/2147/2829

I doubt many people will see this, but it's something I care about and would like to get more eyes on.

Abstract:

The online-based group known as antis, which originated around 2016 in the United States, exhibit morality-based, cult-like behavior and perpetuate hate speech and censorship in online spaces. Anti ideology has encouraged harmful, obsessive, and dangerous behaviors among its members, specifically minors and young adults. An analysis of the antifandom movement through political, sociological, and behavioral lenses reveals its damaging effects on women, people of color, minors, and members of the LGBTQIA+ community.

The past week was hard.

I got into a car accident and will likely have to spend the remainder of my money to pay for it. The same money I'm using for college tuition, transportation to college and car insurance (ha).

And the past few weeks I bought a bunch of toys to make me feel better, on ebay, I probably spent about 150 dollars on this and now I have a collection of Zoobles and a broken LPS virtual pet.

My mother, who can see my purchases, hasn't mentioned this emotionally driven spending period and still thinks I can and should start managing a credit card. *sigh*

Ok, here's a positive thing... I got a drawing tablet for my birthday which I still have yet to actually receive but I'm sure that will motivate me to draw again. It also comes with 2 years of Clip Studio Paint (the EX version hopefully). I would like to try making digital sketch pieces as it's a style I have liked for a while but couldn't replicate with only a mouse.

And... I also finished Nexomon Extinction. And Monster Crown was released in full yesterday. If you like monster games you should play both of these. Thanks

Hi, sorry I haven't been doing much. I haven't felt much motivation for... anything, in general. It's difficult to get out of bed most days, let alone eat or draw. Somehow, I manage to get to work and college. But it's bad enough for my little sister to notice (not my mom though, would have thought she'd notice all the money I've been spending).

My cat died recently. Of old age in his sleep. He was over 17 years old. At least he died peacefully. He has been appearing in my already weird and disturbed dreams.

I don't remember much else about the dream, but there was a new cat in our house and he looked exactly like my cat, but brighter. My actual cat was turned into a taxidermy doll posed like the sphinx, with his eyes closed, and was very dusty, covered in webs.

I was very confused when I woke up.

Well damn,

I didn't think it would ever happen.

Looks like I'm gonna be eating a lot of hats.

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It's Sora, from Kingdom Hearts, which I once described as an edgy Final Fantasy Disney crossover.

The "Disney" part is the main reason why I thought it would never happen

for the record woulda liked another sonic character! so much potential there!!

Anyway my favorite part is that they gave Mario a victory

MARIO LIVES